Every day can present rejection in the ugliest form possible. It could be a negative reply to your social media comment, or that manager that always finds a reason not to promote you, or maybe that partner in your relationship that makes you feel less important. No one enjoys been rejected simply because it hurts and as a result this cripples most people into hiding in their comfort zone. This along with daily miseries can lead to depression, disconnection, loneliness, stress and even worse or unhealthy mental conditions. This is certainly not a good way to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Here are my five best tips to regain control and reboot confidence in your life:
- Identify and embrace the emotional pain:
Some people would rather ignore the pain like it was a dream. The easiest and healthiest way is to accept the reality of it and let your emotions accept disappointment, sadness, discouragement etc. This is the first step to dealing with emotions on the front line.
Trying to dismiss or minimise the pain immediately will mostly lead to prolonging your pain and collection of unaccepted pains will lead to self-destruction.
- Review why you have been rejected:
When you’ve been rejected it is mostly because you are unique, different, special, pushing the limits, thinking outside the box or just voicing your thoughts which are all signs of living your life to the max. If you have never been rejected, it is most likely you are living in your own head.
- Fill yourself with kindness:
It is easy to say horrible and nasty things to yourself when you are in emotional distress. Here is one that I can’t forget: you’re so useless, what makes you think you are special. The use of negative words will not make you feel any better, instead make use of encouraging words – for example the words you tell a trusted friend you are trying to comfort.
- Never give up:
It is often said; “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure”. You might not be their cup of tea for that hour or week; but that does not mean you are not in high demand elsewhere.
Few people interpret constructive criticisms for rejection and spend the rest of their life trying to prove that one person wrong. One person’s opinion about you should not define your destiny, for you are the architect of your own life.
- Learn from the experience and move on:
Growing up as a child you were often presented with a lot of rejections like: you can’t climb this, don’t play with that and don’t touch those - basically meaning they didn’t see you as mature enough to do so. Regardless of what our parents/guardians said, we still let our imaginations and experiences run wild, exploring everything we touched and smelt. As children we rarely let rejections hold us back, but as we grow older we start losing this sense of adventure and just accept reality for what it is.
In conclusion, “Don’t let the opinion of others become your reality” Les Brown.
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